I Realized Something Today

I realized something today. I heard rumors and stereotypes, but I’m finding that experience is actually proving them right.

College (specifically the Honors College at USF) isn’t a learning experience. It’s a perpetual left-wing elitist convention. It’s a place where liberal extremists convene to talk about how much Bush resembles Hitler, how Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are heroes to the black culture, how gays and women are being stripped of their rights; where conservatives show up for business degrees.

The spectrum of political views I’ve encountered in my classes goes something like this, from left to right:

1. FAR LEFT: (aging hippie liberal douche/ belligerent idealist college student)
MOST of the professors at USF, and a major percentage of the student body. These people can be found anywhere there are trees, or picket signs (which were once trees); or where there are very proud gay people. Worship rainbows, Lady Gaga, and CNN. Largely concerned with global warming and political correctness. Also, marijuana. 15% of the student body, 55% of college professors.

2. FLAMING LIBERAL:
Somewhat less extreme than the aging hippie liberal douche, but probably more annoying. Definitely louder. White-collars, often have multiple degrees yet NO common sense. The adamant liberal makes his or her views known in every classroom on every topic. For example, the adamant liberal chemistry professor may make comments such as: “The Bush administration’s ignorance of basic chemical concepts contributes to global warming, and the eventual doom of all humanity.” The adamant liberal college student can be found handing out flyers, or offering chocolate-free chocolate to those who agree to sign a petition to save the baby seals/oceans/Big Bertha the oak tree/bunnies/cockroaches…Blames all the world’s problems on CFC’s and capitalism. About 45% of the student body, 35% of college professors

3. MODERATE LIBERAL:
The liberals who think for themselves. 15% of the student body. 10% of the professors. Tend to be pro-choice (usually with limitations), for gay marriage, genuinely concerned about global warming and pollution, generally have solid, well thought out opinions and values. Often adopt a conservative stance on some issues upon persuasion.

4. THE IN-BETWEENS:
People who consider themselves under this label either have no philosophy of life whatsoever, know nothing about politics, or are lying because neutrality (although theoretically ideal) is absolute indifference in politics. (5% of the student body)

5. MODERATE CONSERVATIVES:
Like moderate liberals, only conservative. 10% of the student body. 0.01% of the professors. Tend to be pro-life, Christian, have well thought out opinions and values. Often adopt a liberal stance on some issues, upon persuasion from moderately liberal professors.

6. CLOSE-MINDED CONSERVATIVE:
Not the pissed-off white-trash redneck conservative, but often a member of the NRA and a strong opponent of gun-control. Will protect second amendment with rifle. God-fearing, money-loving, truck-driving blue-collars. Older generation didn’t have the money to go to college, fought in a war, trusts their priests more than they trust the police. Younger generation can be found walking briskly with a purpose to the engineering building, accounting class, or the ROTC. Probably have a stapler, scissors, and an expensive calculator on them at all times (or a pocket knife). In a business suit or camouflage. Also loudly expresses their views in class. Considers terms like “African-American”, “little people”, and “mentally challenged” to be useless rhetoric. Loves Rush Limbaugh, worships Fox News and God on a regular basis. Secretly aspires to be a Nascar driver. 10% of the student body. Never met a close-minded conservative professor. Ever.

7. FAR-RIGHT (Pissed off white-trash redneck conservative)
Believe that Al Gore and the media invented global warming. Often racist or bigots, using derogatory terms to describe minorities. Willing to spend billions of dollars on an electric fence for the Mexican border. Generally stay away from college or education, for fear of liberal tainting (no gay pun intended), and from other people because city folk are hoodlums. Small-town farming alcoholics, often name their kids Bobbijo, Bobby, or simply Bob. Obsessed with traditional gender roles, homophobic. Often believes the confederacy won the war in the south. Everyone but their family is going to Hell. Actually, everyone is going to Hell.

As I have demonstrated with this arbitrary and subjective data, the distribution of political views is skewed to the right, meaning most of the student and faculty tend to be on the left of the political spectrum. The bulk of students and professors are extremely liberal. It gets more than annoying; it’s expensive to sit and listen to a professor’s personal political agenda, and that’s definitely not what I’m paying for. I’m also not paying to listen to a student interrupt a lesson with a political tangent.

To the professors: shut up and teach.
To the students: shut up and learn.

**Disclaimer: The percentages are rough...and if they don't add up to 100%, it's because I can't add. Never said I could. Also, the terms “aging hippie liberal douche” and “pissed off white-trash redneck conservative” are absolutely accredited to the team of creators of South Park.**





This post was written by, Jessica Boh



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