9/11/2001

As many of you know, today is my birthday. I really don't like that fact because, well, I like celebrating my birthday. I think it's a fun day ...well, I used to. 9/11 in the year of 2001 changed all that.

It's not that I am feeling sorry for myself, it's just that it may come across that way and I don't like that either.

So, what happened on this day, for me? I got up to go to school. My first class wasn't scheduled until later so, I woke up to watch Fox and Friends. I love that show and I watched it every morning. So, it was a normal day and, I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, and I heard something like, "Breaking News...the World Trade Center is on fire...it could be a bomb...we don't know." I rushed out to see what was going on and then, they started saying that it was a cargo plane that ran into the side of the building, that some small aircraft was off course, then the phone rang...it was my now ex, who was at work, he wanted to know if I was watching the news. I told him yes, and he mentioned that he thought it was terrorism. I really didn't want to believe him and then, I see another plane...another plane hit the second building.

By this time, I am freaking out. I don't know what to think. I'm just sitting there watching, crying, seeing people jump to their death, watching a movie almost but, it's not; it's real.

So, those buildings burned for what seemed like an eternity and I started looking at the buildings and I could see them buckle and you could hear this noise, this creaking, you could tell that those buildings were going to come down. Just as I was thinking that for a few moments, it happened. The first building went tumbling down, then later the second. I didn't know what to do. I knew people that were in NY at the time. There was no getting through to anyone, they already said people couldn't get through. There were other planes missing...it was just so much, too much. I couldn't keep track of what was going on.

People running, screaming, just pure chaos. I didn't know what to do, what to think. I decided I should go to school. I figured, I was hoping that there were people I could talk to, that we could all talk about what was happening. I was listening to the radio, on the way. I had to park my car and take a shuttle over to the campus, I had my radio in my ear, listening to the broadcast, trying to make sense of what was going on. I felt as if I was in my own world.

I went to class and the teacher wanted to act like nothing happened. She didn't want to talk about it. Most the class did but, again, it was just weird. I couldn't handle this. I walked out. I went to my next class after some time and it was chemistry. I remember I still left my radio in my ear...I was freaking out over the coverage that was going on. I got up and another student followed me. I was so upset and crying. I felt hopeless. I went back in the classroom and tried to finish up the class.

After that class, a lot of the students gathered in the lobby area of the building where the tv was fixed on CNN. We all stood there watching the coverage and they showed some Palestinians celebrating. I was disgusted by their reaction. I said, "We should bomb the crap out of them assholes." I was met with defiance, another girl said, "You can't just do that. You can't just bomb them." Of course, I have a big mouth but, I kept it quite uttering, "Why not?" I just rolled my eyes and walked away, out the door.

I immediately saw a girl talking on her cell phone, "I'm going out tonight, mom! I don't care. Whatever, it's not here, it's in New York. I don't understand the big deal." I wanted to punch her. All around me, it seemed as if no one even knew what was going on. People were just going about their days as if nothing happened. "Do you know what is going on? We were attacked!!! People are dying!" I wanted so much to scream in their faces! I decided it's best for me to just go home. I did so.

I continued to watch as much coverage as I possibly could, flipping through channels, CNN, Fox, ABC, NBC, anything...anything I could find to tell me what was going on. I found out more about the Pentagon and the other plane that went down.

Well, I did end the night going out. My ex took me to a restaurant. It was really nice, it was just tainted and sad. I had lost my mother earlier this same year. I was just pitiful at this point.

I went to school the next day however, blasting this from my car stereo. I'm sure you can tell what part I like.