2014-02-17

There Are People Who Make Mistakes and Then There Are Mia Farrow and Woody Allen

Before I even begin this post, I would like to make a few points known. First of all, until recently I had not bothered to read anything in detail about the drama that has been going on for years between Mia Farrow, Woody Allen, and Soon-Yi. I had known he married the adopted daughter of Mia and the very act itself has always disgusted me. I have never been a fan of Woody Allen; I cannot even think of a movie I have even seen of his and quite frankly, I never was interested in seeing one. From my little exposure to him, he has always came across to me as a typical "Hollywood elitist" who believes he's better than everyone. It is fair to say that I am biased. If you are looking for someone to be fair and an article that will offer both sides equal credibility, I must tell you that I can only be honest in saying that this post will not satisfy you.

I am making my bias known because as a person who is trying my best to learn how to better respect others and their time, it is my obligation to forewarn you.

Now that we got that out of the way, it is safe to say that I support Dylan** and Mia fully. However, I find quite a bit of fault on Mia's part in this circus of craziness so, I want to begin by getting out my frustration with her and her failures first, then I shall move onto why it is my suspicions of Allen being a full-fledged scumbag have been confirmed in the last few days of reading about this ordeal. 


I would also like to make it clear that I truly understand people make mistakes -- tons of them and I am NO different in this manner. However, there are those that screw up and then there are those that screw up and do not give a second thought about how they have hurt and damaged the lives of other people - that is the difference between Mia and Woody. 

Seven days after Woody Allen found out he was being accused of the molestation of Dylan (an adopted daughter of his and Mia's), he filled a petition to the court to gain custody of her, Satchel (the couple's biological son), and Moses (another adopted son). The scathing court report can be accessed here.

It's extremely difficult for me to read -- it took some time for me. I am an extremely sensitive person. My first feelings of irritation began with Mia.

The report makes clear that when these two decided to be a couple, Woody wanted nothing to do with her children. Mia already had 3 biological children and 3 adopted children prior to her relationship with Woody. They met in 1980 and yet immediately after meeting Woody, she decided to adopt Moses. For four years these two lived on different sides of Manhattan and Woody had no interest in becoming a part of these children's lives yet, in 1994 Mia decided she wanted to have another child with Woody.

Questions: Why did she immediately adopt another child, knowing Woody was not interested in children? Why would a woman stay with a man who expresses no interest in her own children for 4 years start asking this same man if he wants to have a child with her? Why is Mia so selfish that she needs so many darn children? She wants to bring more children into this already unhealthy relationship?

Look, if you have children and you find a man who shows no interest in having children, it's time to move on. Children are a part of the package and for Mia not to understand this shows me that she was only interested in her needs. To make things worse, Allen only agreed to have a child with Mia if she agreed that he would not have to be involved in caring for or raising the child!

Yes, it's right in the report. Mia decided to have a baby knowing that the father, whom she was dating, would not have to deal with the actual responsibility of raising the child. Again, totally selfish. How does a mother explain this to the child later on without sounding like a complete narcissist? "Well, I wanted a baby so bad and he didn't so I agreed that I would be the one responsible for you and I continued to have a relationship with him." Imagine being this child for a moment, will you? Neither parent here seemed to have bothered to take a moment of time to consider where this situation might lead to in the future.

After some time, trying to have a child, Mia decides to adopt on her own (again, Allen initially wants nothing to do with a child). This child is Dylan (1985). Later, she wants ANOTHER child and moves towards adoption and by this time, Allen has warmed up to Dylan and the idea of another child. Mia then becomes pregnant with Satchel. Satchel was born in 1987. Apparently Allen did not do any normal doting father things like touch the belly, listen, feel for kicks, he is even described as being squeamish about the pregnancy.

It would not be until years later that we discover from Mia that Satchel could very likely not be Allen's but instead Frank Sinatra's child. I have to say, go ahead and Google him and look at his picture. He goes by the name Ronan Farrow now; he really does look a lot like Sinatra. There is no report about whether a DNA test has ever been done, certainly nothing official, but it seems extremely likely he is a product of Sinatra and Mia and not Mia and Allen. Mia even admitted that she never really stopped seeing Sinatra. So again, we see that she indeed is a deceptive woman. Never once did she reveal to the courts the possibility of Satchel being another man's child. Here again, if she's sleeping with another man, why is she bothering to stay with Woody? It does not make any sense.

Mia grew away from Allen and later on she began to notice that Allen was not interacting with the children appropriately -- especially toward Dylan. He was always in her space, eyeballing her in a sexual manner, fondling her, and inappropriately allowing her to suck on his thumb.

At some point there was concern over the behavior of Satchel so therapy was sought from a Dr. Coates, whom they also consulted with about Dylan. Dr. Coates observed that Mr. Allen indeed expressed intense and inappropriate attention toward Dylan and this attention excluded the other children. This doctor worked with Allen and tried to get him to understand his actions and why they were inappropriate.

In 1991, Allen adopted Dylan and Moses yet, agreed that he would not seek custody if Mia and him broke up.

Around 1990 is when Allen and Soon-Yi began communication. First she attended basketball games with him and later would express to him her loneliness. Apparently this is where the relationship began to develop. It would be in 1992 that Mia discovered Allen in possession of some nude photographs of Soon-Yi. It was at this point that both parties gained legal council and arrangements were temporarily made to allow Allen to see his children; he told Mia he would no longer see Soon-Yi but continued to see her anyway.

It was in 1992 that an incident occurred between Allen and Dylan. Though the house was filled with servants and other children were present, there was indeed a recorded time of when the two of them were unaccounted for. Mia had taken Dylan to the hospital and eventually authorities were called.

From here a series of events occurred that seemed to favor Allen. Ultimately the state did not prosecute because of Dylan's age and the circumstances that surrounded her. She was in a home of both biological and adopted children. It was believed that the stress of a trial would be too extraordinary for a child of her age.

Here, I can almost understand and when you add to all this Allen's celebrity status, we can see that people are more than willing to play sycophant to him and call this 7 year old a liar. Could any of us possibly imagine the horror of being molested and then to be called a liar at that delicate age? The fact that he was not prosecuted does not make him innocent. Is it awful that they did not move forward and prosecute, or would it have been more awful for Dylan if they had? SHE is the concern here. This is really a tough question and it's very easy for people to criticize but ultimately, there is no easy answer here.

There was a report done by the Yale-New Haven team headed by Dr. Leventhal that exonerated Allen from the abuse incident however, because their notes were systematically destroyed, the other two who worked on the report refused to testify other than through Dr. Leventhal's deposition, and Dr. Leventhal himself did not interview Dylan, the report was highly questionable and was not considered to be of any authority to the court. Allen also took a lie detector test and passed but there is failure to mention that it was his team that tested him; he refused to take one administered by authorities. Allen was not awarded custody or visitation. In short, the judge found Allen to be a narcissist who did not know anything about the children -- names of doctor's, names of friends, names of pets, etc. Moreover, Allen did not understand why it was an issue that he began a relationship with his children's sister. He had no understanding of how bonds had been formed between these children who considered themselves all siblings. He continues to fail in understanding that he did anything wrong.

Frances Silver

So now that this is all in the past, Dylan has grown up and she decided to tell her story. Why after all this time has she finally decided to tell her side? Well, first of all, she never has and second of all, Woody Allen received a Golden Globe lifetime achievement award. These continued awards and fawning over the man who abused her has pushed her to finally gain the strength to tell the world who this man really is and share her story.

I linked to her story above and when I read the story, I truly felt she was being honest and sincere. She does not seem to indulge or exaggerate. It is clear that she simply wants the facts to be known. She has been hurt by this entire ordeal and I also believe that she wants to help give a voice for other victims. I find her story to be believable. I am thankful that she has finally found the courage to come forth. She has the right to do so, especially considering all of what has been written about her and her family over the years.

Her story begins:
What’s your favorite Woody Allen movie? Before you answer, you should know: when I was seven years old, Woody Allen took me by the hand and led me into a dim, closet-like attic on the second floor of our house. He told me to lay on my stomach and play with my brother’s electric train set. Then he sexually assaulted me. He talked to me while he did it, whispering that I was a good girl, that this was our secret, promising that we’d go to Paris and I’d be a star in his movies. I remember staring at that toy train, focusing on it as it traveled in its circle around the attic. To this day, I find it difficult to look at toy trains.
Seven years old is certainly young but memories are most certainly vivid. She does not simply say, "he touched me," she provided details. She knows when, where, and that this touch was different from what she experienced before. She even makes references to what Allen said during the course of this event. This is exactly why I believe what she is saying.

Some more has been revealed in this Vanity Fair article:

“I didn't know anything formally wrong was going on,” Dylan said. “The things making me uncomfortable were making me think I was a bad kid, because I didn't want to do what my elder told me to do.” The attic, she said, pushed her over the edge. “I was cracking. I had to say something. I was seven. I was doing it because I was scared. I wanted it to stop.” For all she knew, Dylan said, “this was how fathers treated their daughters. This was normal interaction, and I was not normal for feeling uncomfortable about it.” (Allen initially denied having gone into the attic. When hairs of his were found there, he said he might have popped his head in once or twice. Because of where the hair was found, his presence could not be proved conclusively.)
This same article carries on and describes a part of Allen's relationship with Ronan:
While the complaints against Maco were proceeding, Allen brought another action before Judge Wilk in order to be able to see Dylan and to resume unsupervised visits with Ronan. He and the boy had never gotten along. As I reported in the 1992 Vanity Fair story, Ronan, at three, had kicked Allen, and Allen had twisted the child’s leg until he screamed. According to court testimony in the second trial, in June 1996, Ronan’s psychiatrist testified that on a supervised visit to Allen’s apartment in 1995, Ronan, then seven, reported that he had kicked Allen, who then grabbed him by the neck with both hands and threw him down on the couch. Shortly thereafter, the supervised visits were suspended.
A man being supervised and reacting this way is clearly a threat to children. I'm also appalled to learn that Allen and his now wife, Soon-Yi, have two adopted children. I wonder how many years we will have to wait to hear the horrors that are taking place behind their closed doors. Something tells me this will not be the last we hear of Allen's wretched behavior.

The Vanity Fair article also makes a point of how the case worker at the Child Welfare Administration very much found Dylan to be credible.

Here are more articles that cover the case and discuss some other issues with Allen -- dirty tricks, private investigators getting information on law enforcement, muddying the waters with allegations of leaking Dylan's tape (that did not occur), etc.

Bottom line - I believe Dylan's story. I also believe that Mia is an idiot who was selfish and acted rather foolishly in adopting too many children, bringing them into a situation that was indeed chaotic at best. Her children deserved a father and what they got was a spineless predator who was self-absorbed and an "entitled" elitist. To Allen's credit, he did tell Mia he wanted nothing to do with the children and this should have been the first clue for her to drop his ass and not carry on a relationship past their first date.

With that being said, I also understand what it's like to have gone so far down a path with someone, that you feel lost and become desperate to try and make a relationship work. Mia did go to counselling; she did what many women would do. Right or wrong, she was trying to preserve a family (albeit far from the traditional sense), and when it counted, she did what she had to do. She got her s**t together and got her children out from under this abusive man. She took Dylan to the doctor and she got a recording of the testimony. She stood up for her children. Was it too little, too late? Yes. I believe it was but at least I can look at her and see a woman who understands right and wrong; she understands the situation. She does seem to really love her children. Idiot? Yes. Intentional evil? I do not believe so.

What is truly revealing to me of Allen's guilt are the words that come from his response in the New York Times. It has been pointed out by others that Dylan's open-letter was only posted in Nicholas Kristof's blog section, while Woody's response was allowed to be printed in the newspaper section.
TWENTY-ONE years ago, when I first heard Mia Farrow had accused me of child molestation, I found the idea so ludicrous I didn't give it a second thought. We were involved in a terribly acrimonious breakup, with great enmity between us and a custody battle slowly gathering energy. The self-serving transparency of her malevolence seemed so obvious I didn't even hire a lawyer to defend myself. It was my show business attorney who told me she was bringing the accusation to the police and I would need a criminal lawyer.

Yes, twenty-one years ago and I'm not sure the time matters because up until now she has kept silent. It's her time, as an adult, to tell her story. Who in their right mind does not give a "second thought" to being accused of child molestation? The very idea that he was so flippant about the accusation shows that he simply does not consider molestation to be a big deal. Anyone who is wrongly accused of such an act would be horrified.

Notice too, how he immediately goes right after Mia, calling her "self-serving." He does not start this off addressing Dylan, or recognizing the pain she has gone through. He does not immediately start off by admitting past wrongs or taking responsibility for anything. Instead he is only concerned about attacking Mia and showing his shock in how much time has past. He seems to think that because so many years have gone by, he should no longer be bothered with anything.
I naïvely thought the accusation would be dismissed out of hand because of course, I hadn't molested Dylan and any rational person would see the ploy for what it was. Common sense would prevail. After all, I was a 56-year-old man who had never before (or after) been accused of child molestation. I had been going out with Mia for 12 years and never in that time did she ever suggest to me anything resembling misconduct. Now, suddenly, when I had driven up to her house in Connecticut one afternoon to visit the kids for a few hours, when I would be on my raging adversary’s home turf, with half a dozen people present, when I was in the blissful early stages of a happy new relationship with the woman I’d go on to marrythat I would pick this moment in time to embark on a career as a child molester should seem to the most skeptical mind highly unlikely. The sheer illogic of such a crazy scenario seemed to me dispositive. [sic]
Here he is appealing to the lowest instinct by insinuating that "common sense" should tell everyone how innocent he is. He also lies. It is well documented that he was in counselling for his inappropriate behavior before the noted molestation occurred. He actually wants us to believe that the incident could not have happened because he was in the "blissful early stages of a happy, new relationship." Aside from being an extremely disturbing line, the projection of this being illogical is truly ironic. People who are predators are known for targeting the weak and taking advantage of situations similar to what he is describing; they find a thrill in carrying out their deeds during risky time frames.
 I very willingly took a lie-detector test and of course passed because I had nothing to hide. 
He refused to take one given by the state; he only took one administered by his own people and he fails to provide this context.

Allen goes on to say that the Child Sexual Abuse Clinic of the Yale-New Haven Hospital had cleared him of wrongdoing but never mentions how this report was tainted or how the report was not given any credence during the custody dispute.
Justice Wilk was quite rough on me and never approved of my relationship with Soon-Yi, Mia’s adopted daughter, who was then in her early 20s. He thought of me as an older man exploiting a much younger woman, which outraged Mia as improper despite the fact she had dated a much older Frank Sinatra when she was 19. In fairness to Justice Wilk, the public felt the same dismay over Soon-Yi and myself, but despite what it looked like our feelings were authentic and we’ve been happily married for 16 years with two great kids, both adopted. 

After all these years, Allen clearly does not believe he has done anything wrong and confirms this with the above found in his response. He seems to think there is some comparison that can be made here with Mia having had a relationship with Sinatra. It is not just about age (although that is truly disturbing). It has been about the inappropriate behavior and the fact that the man simply does not understand moral or even basic ethical boundaries. Again, we see no concern for how this has affected Dylan, only more complaining about and attacking Mia.
Here I quote Moses Farrow, 14 at the time: “My mother drummed it into me to hate my father for tearing apart the family and sexually molesting my sister.” Moses is now 36 years old and a family therapist by profession. “Of course Woody did not molest my sister,” he said. “She loved him and looked forward to seeing him when he would visit. She never hid from him until our mother succeeded in creating the atmosphere of fear and hate towards him.” Dylan was 7, Ronan 4, and this was, according to Moses, the steady narrative year after year.

Moses has cerebral palsy. He is a family therapist and a photographer, and separated from his wife and two children. He stated initially he wanted nothing to do with his father but now he has embraced Allen and turned against his mother. However, his stories are inconsistent. Dylan has reported that there were times she would lock herself in the bathroom when Allen came to visit. We know Allen was going to therapy for his behavior and we also know that there was indeed a reported timeframe of at least 15 minutes where Allen and Dylan were unaccounted for on the date of when the molestation occurred. The servant or maid had not revealed this absence until after Mia and Dylan had come forth with the story.

Allen then carries on about Mia and how Ronan could actually be Sinatra's son. He even makes a complaint that he had been possibly paying child support for a kid that wasn't his. More attacking of Mia and no mention of Dylan, no acknowledgment of her as a human being. Whether Ronan is his son or not, he had only known of Woody to be his father. That is not his fault; he is an innocent party. This sort of backlash by Woody is just hurtful and does not address the issue at hand. It's just more twisting and turning. Why is Allen focused on Mia when this letter should be addressing what Dylan has said? If Allen wants to complain about Mia or Ronan, then maybe he should do so on another time and in private. There is no reason to mention this.
NOW it’s 21 years later and Dylan has come forward with the accusations that the Yale experts investigated and found false. Plus a few little added creative flourishes that seem to have magically appeared during our 21-year estrangement.
Yes, and again, she has not told her story until now and the only one who seems to be adding creative flourishes is Allen! Again, he is putting all his eggs in a basket that was shown not be credible.
Mia chose the attic of her country house, a place she should have realized I’d never go to because it is a tiny, cramped, enclosed spot where one can hardly stand up and I’m a major claustrophobe. The one or two times she asked me to come in there to look at something, I did, but quickly had to run out. Undoubtedly the attic idea came to her from the Dory Previn song, “With My Daddy in the Attic.” It was on the same record as the song Dory Previn had written about Mia’s betraying their friendship by insidiously stealing her husband, André, “Beware of Young Girls.” One must ask, did Dylan even write the letter or was it at least guided by her mother? Does the letter really benefit Dylan or does it simply advance her mother’s shabby agenda? That is to hurt me with a smear. There is even a lame attempt to do professional damage by trying to involve movie stars, which smells a lot more like Mia than Dylan. [sic]

Mia chose the attic? No, more like Allen chose the attic and here he claims his claustrophobia, which was his reason for initially denying ever entering the attic. It wasn't until he was caught lying when his prints and hair were discovered that he had to backtrack his account. Originally he said he went in there to grab a child or get them a beverage but here he is claiming that Mia called him there? Interesting how the only story that has been changed is his own. Why is he even bringing this part up? If you're innocent, then you're innocent; the location in the home of where it occurred plays no importance in defending yourself. Moreover, how does he know that involving movie stars "smells a lot more like Mia than Dylan"? He hasn't spoken to Dylan in 21 years. He never knew any of these children then, how could he claim to possibly know Dylan now?
After all, if speaking out was really a necessity for Dylan, she had already spoken out months earlier in Vanity Fair. 
Of course, I did not molest Dylan. 
The article continues on, more stabs at Mia for allowing the Golden Globes to use her images while they honored him. Then he seems annoyed that Dylan has spoken out before, I guess there is some unwritten rule in his world that states his daughter should only speak out once and then keep her mouth shut. Oh, and "of course" he didn't molest her. Another attempt to obfuscate. We are just supposed to take his word for it, even though he lied during this response and did nothing but attack his former lover.

The man just acts like bad stuff just happens to him and all he's doing is carrying on in life and doing nothing wrong. Not once did he take any responsibility for any wrongdoing. He truly believes that he's just some innocent person who has no flaws and everyone else is the culprit. This is pure narcissism to the exponential degree. From his Wikipedia page:

"What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now. There was no scandal, but people refer to it all the time as a scandal and I kind of like that in a way because when I go I would like to say I had one real juicy scandal in my life."
The fact that he refuses to acknowledge anything he's done as wrong only shows he has something to hide. Never does he acknowledge Dylan as an actual person, with feelings. There are a few throwaway lines but nothing amounts to anything sincere. Instead he uses his whole piece to attack Mia at almost every turn. Yes, we have established that Mia is pretty shady and a crappy person but this article should have been focused on his daughter. He talks about how all this time has gone by and basically insinuates this all should be buried by now but HE is the one bringing up Mia. The issue of Dylan speaking out for the first time is NOT 21 years ago; it's now; it's new.

There is no doubt that Mia and Woody had a long relationship and much like any other relationship, it wasn't perfect; it certainly wasn't traditional. It was a family unit that was recognized and the siblings, both biological and adopted, who saw each other as equals and a part of the same family. Woody engaged in a relationship with the adopted daughter of his lover and the sister of his children. The fact that he makes an issue about "being adopted" verses biological only further shows he should have never been allowed to adopt again, later on with Soon-Yi. He does not seem to understand that "father" is something much more than biological. Anyone can donate sperm; a father is a specific role that demonstrates an acknowledgment of responsibility. This complete lack of self-control and respect for this family unit gives even more plausibility to him being a child predator. He took a weak-willed women and then proceeded to prey upon her children. The man knows no boundaries and has no respect for anyone.

Even if one were to initially question Dylan and what she claims, I cannot understand how someone could read Woody's response and not see the complete lack of moral fiber. The sense of guilt is not found because he admits he does not find any fault in anything he has done. It is this absence of any responsibility that forces me to not believe anything this man says.

I have never supported Woody Allen and I am grateful; it appears as though I have made a wise choice. After reading all this, I am more convinced of my opinion then I have ever been.


I also am linking Dylan's response to Woody's claims. She is not backing down and I applaud her!

**Dylan goes by the name Malone now. 

LINKS:

http://www.vanityfair.com/dam/2014/02/woody-allen-1992-custody-suit.pdf

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/09/opinion/sunday/woody-allen-speaks-out.html?_r=1

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lauren-duca/woody-allen-dylan-farrow_b_4749664.html

http://blockyourid.com/~gbpprorg/judicial-inc/woody_allen_with_mia_farrow_supplement.htm#Polaroids

http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/02/01/an-open-letter-from-dylan-farrow/

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/02/opinion/sunday/kristof-dylan-farrows-story.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soon-Yi_Previn#Soon-Yi_Previn

Moses support for Allen:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20783306,00.html

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/dylan-farrow-responds-to-dad-woody-allen-he-will-not-silence-me-201482


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