Vacation --- Taking a Break

The time has come for me to take a break. I am not sure that this will be too long of a break but, it is clear that I need to regroup, rethink, and refocus on what it is that I want in life. I have sort of gone down a few paths and have spread my energies in too many areas. It's clear that doing this has resulted in just utter chaos. 

While many parts of my life have definitely improved, other parts have gotten worse or remained stagnant. I have been changing as a woman, a mother, and an entrepreneur. I have also been changing spiritually and in some ways I feel closer to G-d, in other ways I feel as though I have lost some direction. 

I recently ran across an old diary of mine from 1999 and have discovered that there are some parts of me that haven't even changed. This makes me sad in many ways. 

I have become so attached to the internet over the past several years. Yes, I need to be on here because of my blog but, now I am writing off-line and I need to get rid of some distractions. I try to limit myself but, it hasn't worked well. I'm going to take the next week or so and get some things done around the house, write my book, and read, lots of reading. I'd like to get back to studying my chemistry as well. I miss that. I miss that part of my life that I lost. I miss a lot of things and I also miss someone, still. Someone who was my whole world and when I read my diary from all those years ago, I realize nothing has changed but, I feel if I can get back some part of the things I miss, I can forget about that one person I can no longer have. 

I just need to regroup, do something different, and do something positive. I want to be that person I was before, the person that was always helping others. Somewhere along the way, I have lost pieces of myself. Some of those pieces I'm glad I lost, others I need to get back because, they are mine. Some will never come back because they are gone. 

April 6th marks the day I lost my mother in 2001. I miss her so much. I am not sure how I've gone this far without her but, it's clear that since her passing, my life has changed. April 6th in 2009 is also the day my mother in law died. She never got to see Jessica. I really hate April 6th. 

I will be back. I just need to finish some projects and things I keep putting aside. I really love everyone that reads this blog and everyone on Facebook and on Twitter. You've become my whole world in many ways. I just need a break. That's all. 

Love you, 

Tuesday ....